


Hidden Disclosures

by Pooks79



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-22
Updated: 2013-07-22
Packaged: 2017-12-20 23:18:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/893054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pooks79/pseuds/Pooks79
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This AH/OC one shot was inspired by the song Take Care by Drake & Rihanna.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hidden Disclosures

We stand in a room amongst friends talking, laughing, sharing moments of happiness from a summer’s past and yet it seems like only you and I are in the room. We lock eyes, our mouth’s engaging in casual conversation within present company of our respective groups while the words we are dying to utter are lost behind our intense stare.

We’ve been friends far longer than we have with anyone else in the room. We’ve loved and lost, cried, laughed, cuddled and shared moments no one could ever manage to duplicate. However, as perfect as we seem, the flaws between us are too countless, too insurmountable for a relationship to ever be successful. Our ideals, what we want from life are on two opposite sides of the pendulum and too different to be overlooked or ignored. You want luxury, a big house with a large bank roll while I long for a companion, a partner to travel through life with, enjoy the simplicity God has to offer and revel in the fact that even in normalcy adventures can and do happen with the one you love.

It wasn’t without a solid effort that we tried to make this work, force our minds to believe what our hearts declared to be true but it just didn’t work. The barrier that formed was too dense, filled with regret that although we seemed perfect we were far from it. 

We separated after high school but always remained friends. That was the great part about us, even after the hot steamy nights, romantic cuddles, countless fights over dominance and even the stupid arguments we could still push that aside and remember what was important, our friendship. It was in that moment of weakness, that degree of separation that you met him, the man I came to despise and the name I could never forget, Edward.

He offered everything you ever wanted, endless credit, a beautiful penthouse suite in the city and countless fake friends that would be at your beckon call just so they could say they were friends with Ms. Bella Swan. The monster you had become disgusted me and although I keep to my word and stayed in touch, it is hard to watch you become just like them, empty and meaningless.

Your lower lip crawls under your teeth as your eyes veer away from mine. It becomes clear to me what causes such aversion as Vivian snakes her arm around my waist and kisses my cheek. Jealousy was always our mutual passion, bile rising in my mouth at the sight of your plump red lips pressing against that coward of a man you called your boyfriend while your heart sank whenever she publically proved I was worth the effort by a simple romantic gesture. It was shame that we couldn’t work things out because as much as I wanted to believe I could be happy; no one could truly satisfy me like you could. Beauty, charisma and stamina were important but only when all three were intertwined with an equally pronounced mind and that sadly was hard to come by.

His name falls from your lips in jest, dripping with sarcasm, the tone extremely overdramatic and yet each time these events occur, you continue to act like you enjoy them, want to be a part of Edward’s inner circle even though deep down you cry yourself to sleep knowing this is not how you envisioned it to be. I know that feeling, how agonizing it can feel to be stuck in a situation with no way out. I was stuck there for many years after you left, suffering with the understanding that my basic life would never be good enough. 

I hide behind the fake smiles and boisterous laughter just to appease you when we did speak every few weeks just so the cloud of guilt wouldn’t rain on your parade. In the final moments, when even the friendship became daunting and I could no longer take the reminder that I could never be as wonderful as he was, I gave into the rage and lied. I told you I had found someone too and that’s when I heard it, the hitch in your breath, the crackle in your voice as the jealousy consumed you. A sense of pride filled me for in that moment I finally found your weakness.

“Jake! Jake!” Edward hollers calling my attention from your shy submissive stance to his pathetic excuse for a romantic entanglement. I smile, play the game even if only to keep you happy. 

Entwining my hands within hers I walk towards you, a blush filling your cheeks while your eyes fight the rage that courses through your veins. It burns you that I too can move on and that your actions haven’t forced me into celibacy and a lifetime of heartache and solitude. I love to see that passion, the jealousy consume you; make you more human than you portray yourself to be because in that humanity I find the true source of your rage. You are still in love with me.

“Bella, Edward…this is Vivian” I introduce clenching her hand in mine while bringing it up to my lips.

It was a foul game I was playing, toying with you like this but it was the only way to make you see out of this cloud, this mask that covered your sight from the truth. He wasn’t good enough for you. Trying to toy with my own internal battles with jealousy you lean in and embrace him from the side, his lips descending and pressing firmly against your forehead as he replies, “Nice to meet you Vivian. It’s wonderful to finally see Jake with someone other than my sweet Bella. For a second I could have sworn he was courting her but now I see they are as they say, just friends.”

As those casual words fell from his lips, I could feel the acid burning through my stomach and up through my throat. I couldn’t stand to be in his presence, the way he flaunted you like a doll, spoke of you as his counterpart when in actuality you were merely there for show and tell. 

The truth was evident and in normal Edward fashion, he finds a way to remove himself from you and attend to his guests with little to no regard for your happiness or enjoyment. I can’t say the urge to pull you away and run wasn’t itching its way out of me but I refrain. You choose your path as did I and as my father use to say, “You made your bed now sleep in it.”

Vivian, being the polite person tries to engage you in conversation and just like I had done countless times before, you entertain her casual conversation but your eyes, those dark brown orbs remain on me, the pleas of your soul screaming out to me, begging me to free you from your prison so enlarged it is hard to escape their rapture.

I damn this emotion, this yearning I still hold for you, this indescribable need to make you happy even if it means my end. There have been many occasions where this look has caused me false hope and I inwardly wish I could just turn it off, stop my heart from skipping and leaping to your aid but it is relentless in its quest to make you happy.

“Isn’t that right Jake?” Vivian inquires, my mind so lost in your gaze I am oblivious to what the conversation was about or how it pertained to me.

Turning my gaze from you to her she awaits my response and with my delay, she realizes I wasn’t paying attention which in turns ignites a fury within her. “You have to love men…selective hearing” she mocks and you nod trying to seem like you are in agreement and yet you know it is more than me just being a man. 

“Will you excuse me? I need some air” you reply and without waiting for a response, run from the room and out onto the balcony of the apartment.

As hard as I try to ignore your impromptu exit I can’t. Vivian’s comments about your hasty departure mute to my ears as I watch you stare out into the night sky. What is it about you that calls to me, demands my attention as if my emotions are meaningless and the way you dismissed me was acceptable? 

I know the conversation we will have if I come to your aid. You will swear that you are fine and I should enjoy the party. Although this is the first time you haven’t kept face while your heart was being torn in two and your pristine ego wasn’t being diminished by Edwards demining insinuations, I can’t help but wonder if this was just another show or were you truly hurting this go around.

As if the mute button was released, Vivian’s tirade rings crystal clear in my ears just as I turn to face her. “You know what Jake… if you are going to ignore me, then I am better off on my own. Go ahead, run to your precious Bella. That is what you want isn’t it? I’m tired of living in her shadow hoping by some divine miracle you will see she is just using you but apparently you are too blind to see you are too good for her. So go ahead, run like a puppy and get shot down again, like always.”

There was so much truth to her words and although I knew in my heart she was right, I couldn’t just leave you there, not like this.

Without a word I turn and walk towards the balcony, your stance diminished slightly as you rest your head on your arms crossed arms along the cool cement ledge. I stand beside you, lean down and whisper, “It's hard living in someone else’s ideals isn’t it?”

With tear coated eyes you turn to me, the look you gave so devastatingly sad it was hard to fight the urge not to claim you within my arms. This wasn’t something I was prepared for and nothing of what I expected. What has he done? What have I done?

“I can’t do this anymore Jake, living this lie is killing me and yet a part of me can’t leave. All these feelings these hidden desires I have for you continue to grow and fester within me and there is nothing I can do to silence them. We’ve tried this and know how this game ends and I just can’t do it. I know my place is with Edward and yet my heart has and always will be with you.”

Your words cut me like a knife, the whole hearted truth of this game we play with one another thrown out onto the table like a deck of cards for all to see. We were complete opposites and yet we were attracted to one another like a moth to a flame. Our desires, our longing for one another has remained hidden, held captive within our casual glances and as much as we want them to come to fruition, they won’t and that hurts more than anything.

“How do you know Bella? We were kids when we tried and with time and experience things can and have changed. Why not try? You might be surprised.”

“And what if it doesn’t work? What if I leave Edward and we try and it fails. I couldn’t bare it, not again.”

For the first time you finally admit that a part of you suffered as I did all those years ago. The hidden desires I felt, continued to feel for you brewed within me and forced me to do something truly spontaneous. 

Without delay I pull your arm, tuck you into my side and head for the door. I knew you would object, deny me whatever it was you thought I was about to do but I didn’t care. I had to see for myself if the passion burned within you like it always had within me. There would be no more hidden disclosures, soft whispers or endless tears, not tonight. I would expose the fear, express the joy and see if the candle of unconditional love had truly been extinguished from our lives.

XXX

You kick and holler as I pull you down the hallway and into the elevator. As the elevator descends down and I could feel the anger and hurt burn off your skin in droves, I decide that it can’t wait any longer, something had to be done. 

I pull you into my chest and slam you against the buttons of the elevator panel, both hands bracing at your sides, caging you in as I press the stop button and the immediate halt of the elevator slightly shifts our weight abruptly.

Your taunting obscenities over my acts stop and all that remains is the heat of our hasten breath between us. I was tired of your denial of the obvious, our lives vastly different however our hearts claiming that what we felt for one another could no longer be denied.

I lean forward, my heart racing, my palms dripping with sweat as I take on the role I should have from the very beginning. I thought politeness, kindness and thoughtfulness were quality you desire however it becomes ever the more clear that you thirst for a different breed of man. You hunger for male dominance. 

My advances excites you, your breathing becoming more labored as the silence remains between us while your legs quiver before me. I can smell your arousal, the desire that saturates your clothing as you await my next move unsure of how far this will go but wanting it even more with each passing moment.

My head slides beside yours, my sincerity filtering through your thoughts as I speak the truth and offer to take it all away, “I know you are hurting. I know he doesn’t treat you like you should be treated. Let’s stop pretending we don’t love each other. Let’s give into it and let life takes its course. Let me…” I pause as my lips press against your ear while my tongue runs the length of your lobe.

“Take care of you, show you what love feels like”

Your breath hitches at my advance and before you can fight me, denounce what you know in your heart is true, I run my lips down your neck while my hand slides from the wall onto your waist.

“Jake…” 

My name escapes your lips, the tone dripping with desire and never deterring me from showing you what you’ve been missing and what you can have if you only compromise and allow your heart to lead the way.

“Tell me you don’t want me, that you don’t picture my face when he touches you like this…” I whisper as my hand travels down your leg, under your skirt and casually rests upon your heated mound.

Words seem lost to you, the only indication of your agreement is by the way your hands have risen and gripped my back, your nails digging into my shirt as if you cling to me for safety.

“No one can make you feel like I can Bella…no one” I whisper as I take the flesh of your neck into my mouth as my finger seeps beneath the elastic of your panties and slowly stroke your silky, hot juicy folds.

“Jake…please” you beg, your voice laced with desire and a hint of denial.

I know in the back of your mind you know this is wrong but your body can’t deny what your heart desires most. Although we failed at this once, time and experience has matured us to a place where it could be possible to try again. I just had to show you it was worth it. I was worth it.

“I love the way you feel between my fingertips, the way your walls tighten and demand attention from me, your body thirsting for more”

The sweet scent of your arousal teases my senses and causes my body to ache with such a need that I can no longer fight the urge and while continuing to please you, hook my spare hand around your waist and tug upward. As if you knew where this was going, you quickly hook your legs around my waist as I press you against the wall for stability.

In a heated frenzy, I release my firmness from its imprisonment, join in with my thrusting finger and find instant pleasure within your tight walls. 

My name escapes your lips once again, louder than before and filled with heightened pleasure. 

“Say it Bella…no more glances, no more mouthed responses, no more hidden meanings behind kind gestures…tell me…please”

I hated to seem desperate but I had to know this wasn’t just a show of talents but rather a solid effort to reclaim your heart. As if music to my ears, you moan loudly as your climax ripples through your body and showers me with its goodness. “It’s always been you.”

With your confession my body releases with you, my heart racing, my mind satisfied and my soul finally at peace. We moved together through this euphoric moment reveling in the confession that had been held captivate for far too long. We belonged together and the longer we denied it, the stronger and more powerful the burn of desire became. 

“I love you Bella” I reply as I allow you to slide down from the wall and gather your footing.

Unsure of what your response might be I keep my head and eyes down towards the floor. The heat of your hands come upon my face and lift, my eyes meeting your instantaneously with no fear or doubt of what I might see there.

“I love you too Jake. I’m not sure where we go from here but let’s take it one step at a time ok?”

I nodded and with my heart swelling so largely within my chest I couldn’t fight the urge to claim your lips once more. Finally after all the tears and denial you accepted me, accepted us as a possibility. I knew you were the only one who could complete me and right now I know you feel the same. 

Although the outcome of this endeavor still remains unknown, I can’t help but feel hope for the future. The hurdles before us will be met and conquered as a united front for the love we feel for one another is undeniable and irreplaceable and that is something worth fighting for.


End file.
